What is bullying? Bullying can be defined as intentional, repeated, systematic hurtful acts, words or other behaviour by an individual or individuals against another individual or individuals. Bullying is alsowhen someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. The behavior can be verbal, emotional, and physical.
For thousands of children, the school is a battleground where they are subjected to physical or verbal abuse by fellow students. Bullying is an age-old and worldwide problem and only one form of school violence. Because of the misperception that bullying is just a part of the process of growing up, many children keep quiet about abuse and many educators fail to take action. This is in spite of the fact that it can have negative lifelong social, emotional, psychological and educational consequences, both for perpetrators and for their victims. Victims often refuse to go to school or steer clear of certain areas of the school terrain. They struggle with poor self-esteem and can become depressed and withdrawn. In serious cases of bullying, victims have committed suicide. A new word has been coined for suicide as a result of bullying - it's known as "bullicide". Some studies have shown that bullying also has harmful long-term effects on the bully. Bullies often become involved in criminal activities later in life and struggle to form positive relationships with other.
Did you know that bullying in schools is one of the greatest causes of depression, anxiety, sleeplessness and psychological problems among school-going children?
There are various different forms of bullying. Common examples include:
Verbal bullying includes such acts as hurtful name-calling, persistent teasing, gossiping and racist remarks.
Relational bullying occurs when the victim is deliberately excluded from activities.
Emotional bullying includes terrorising, extorting, defaming, humiliating, blackmailing, rating/ranking of personal characteristics such as race, disability or ethnicity, manipulating friendships, ostracising and peer pressure.
Sexual bullying includes many of the above as well as exhibitionism, sexual positioning, sexual harassment and abuse involving actual physical contact and sexual assault.
The physical confrontation
Internet bullying (Cyber Bully)
The commercial bully
The intimidating bully
The mean teacher
The rejection bully
Bullying needs to be taken seriously by parents and responsible adults
Why do some people bully others? There are many reasons. Those who bully may:
Pick on just anyone or choose their victim
Find that bullying pays (get what they want or admired by others)
aggressive and impulsive
enjoy feeling powerful over others
not be affected by the distress of the victim
believe that some kinds of people deserve to be bullied
see it as fun
have been influenced by aggressive 'models' (in real life and/or TV)
see the behaviour as 'pay-back' for some unfair treatment
be or have been victims themselves
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes
Why do children get bullied? Any child can get bullied just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes children who are popular, smarter or attractive can be victims of bullying and then also those who seem easy to hurt. Children can be picked on who look different or are different, came from a different culture or religion. Children who have a disability or are not good at sport. Children can also be targeted due to their size, age or strength and who lack social confidence.
Signs of being bullied Children who are being bullied may not always tell adults. They may be afraid or ashamed. They may even think it is their fault. They may have been threatened with something worse if they tell. Some signs of being bullied may be:
Not wanting to go to school
Finding excuses for not going to school i.e. feeling sick and being sick
Wanting to go to school a different way i.e. changing the route, or being driven instead of catching the bus
Being very tense, tearful and unhappy before and/or after school
Talking about hating school or other children
Showing bruises or scratches
Damage to or loss of personal belongings
Showing problems with sleeping i.e. Not sleeping, Nightmares, Bedwetting
Not having any friends
Refusing to talk about what happens at school
Coming home with torn clothes
'losing' his tuck money
Being quiet and withdrawn
Not doing well with schoolwork
These signs may not necessarily mean your child is being bullied, but it is a strong indication that all is not well and that you need to check out what is worrying your child.
Bullying is far from harmless. It's vicious and hurtful and it makes the lives of children a living hell in and outside the school grounds.
